From my place in bed I can see some of our maple tree. The branch closest to the window moves a lot in the wind. It can be hypnotic. I’ve lost myself in the dancing golden leaves several times since the accident. Today that branch is bare. In fact I’m guessing the entire tree has shed it’s last leaves in preparation for winter. I am not so ready.
I knitted earlier today and imagined all the amazing things I’d commit to paper. Unfortunately the day is coming to a close for me and I’ve lost the urge to touch pen to paper.
Things are painful – physical and emotional. Or maybe they are just tiring me.
The day isn’t over yet. I’m going to sit up and knit a bit before I call it a night and return to my pillow. This will be my eighteenth day of AEDM and posting here. I can’t give up now.
I worked over four hours this morning and managed to feel comfortable for a short time. Monday I’m going to really push myself. But today, Iggy Pup and I are grateful for cozy blankets and cuddles. Whining ankles can’t even stop us from getting snuggly.
Yesterday I started to move my healing ankle. This doesn’t sound like much, does it? I don’t think I ever imagined how this entire healing process was going to unfold. I just kind of lost myself in the “take it a day at a time”. In the beginning that was necessary. The trauma of the accident plus my injuries made looking to the future painful. It still is to be honest but I’m trying to start.
Last Friday, my Doc said I need to get my ankle moving. The demonstration made my stomach roll. Movement in my own foot and ankle made me sick – it felt foreign and impossible. He said I had to do it so next visit I can get the okay to start putting weight on my left leg. Then comes physical therapy and walking. Normal life will be possible. I’ll be able to walk downstairs instead of going step by step on my posterior. You see the small things excite me these days.
In the afternoon my mother suggested I try some moving. I started with my toes. “Wiggle your big toe.” That scene in “Kill Bill” has taken on new meaning for me. I’ve been working on the toe wiggles for awhile but I used it as a warm up. Then I managed to bend my ankle using muscles, tendons and joints that haven’t been active in more than five weeks. Let’s just say I managed to wake a few beasts up.
I haven’t really been comfortable since that time yesterday afternoon. My meds make it bearable while I lie in bed with my whining ankle elevated and iced. Sleep was far from restful. Unsurprisingly, work today was far from a success. Not even three hours passed before I had admit I needed a break. I came home and elevated the beastly ankle.
I’m trying really hard to look at this discomfort as a personal success. I did this. I am paving the way back to myself. The more I work now, the easier my next appointment will be. (A friend warned me of how uncomfortable it is to have the doctor do the moving.) Sure today sucked big time but I’ve been telling my ankle all day “You think yesterday was hard?! You haven’t seen anything yet sweetie!” And guess who flexed and wiggled this afternoon?
For my AEDM today I can report just a couple of rows knitted. My dad helped me measure the scarf today. I am thrilled to report 32 inches long!
Progress can be slow, sometimes a literal pain but measurable achievements make it all worth it!
Five and a half weeks have past since the accident. I took my second shower without any covering on my leg today. It still is very strange to see it and to feel with it.
I worked on my knitting a bit after this morning’s appointment. The scarf is growing. I’ll try to get some help measuring it soon. It’s great to see progress come from tiny islands of time and busy hands.
Matt brought up my Lamy Vista tonight. I was happy to see the PR Avocado ink still flow from the 1.1 nib on the first stroke.
Once again I find myself running low on energy. I hope sleep comes quickly and carries through. I haven’t slept an entire night yet and I’m really missing that soft cloud feeling after an excellent night’s rest. Maybe I’ll get a hint of that before work tomorrow. (I can dream, can’t I?)
I managed just under four hours at work today. When I got home and returned to bed, I made several phone calls.
One of the calls resulted in my start of a round of steroids. My rash has been torturing me day and night. I’m happy to report some relief already. I am very happy despite my ankle buzzing away.
My AEDM for today will have to be the small pencil Tues. I drew in my sketchbook with my Kuru Toga. Nothing special but it will have to suffice. I’m exhausted again and hope more rest will do some good.
I find myself waking to get ready for bed again. It’s amazing how exhausted I get. Today I worked for just shy of 3.5 hours. I’m still adjusting to this boot. It’s heavy and less secure than my last cast. I miss my cast. I was just getting used to it and mastering the art of getting around with it. Now I have to start all over again, learning what my ankle’s limits are in this velcro’d beast.
I knit a few rows of my scarf today. I also scribbled a bit in my composition notebook with my ultra fine Sharpies.
Now I go back to sleep in hopes of making it through most of the night without incident. Oh how I miss solid restful nights of dreamful sleep.
Another blur of a day with a little bit of knitting mixed in. I hope the worst is past and I’ll be back to a more normal level soon. I took my first shower without a cast today. It was a bit freaky but a very important step. I’m hoping I can do at least a few hours at work tomorrow. Wish me luck.
I suspected that my itchy leg was more than just dry skin on Wednesday. The last day confirmed my suspicions. I have hives or some kind of horrible itchy rash. Last night was a rough one with itching and discomfort disrupting my sleep. My stomach was not at all happy with me this morning either. So I do what I do best, I called my parents for advice this morning. They advised calling my Doc which I did. No pain meds and get some Benadryl.
To pass time I grabbed my Sharpie and decided I could go wild on the cast since it was coming off. I doodled swirls, my signature sock skull, a cloud, “warning: broken,” “this end up,” and “heal” instead of heel. That was the only artistic thing I did today.
My Doc appointment went okay. The nurse had a hard time removing the cast. Then I came very close to fainting during the xrays which rushed 4 nurses all to that room. After that joy, the Doc said my fractures are nearly undetectable and I could get a BOOT. Getting my foot into the boot was interesting and movement in my ankle makes me feel so sick. I was so happy to get home and lie down! Unfortunately the lack of proper pain meds let the beast wake up and sleep was impossible. It hurts. It will pass but sheesh am I tired of pain and discomfort and strange sensations.
I am so hoping things are calmer by tomorrow and that I can get some good proper sleep tonight. A nice artistic adventure would be a lovely break.