Normally I don’t work three days in a row but the holiday inspired wonkiness and I managed just over four hours today. I’m happy with my achievements this week and it’s only Wednesday.
Lavinia kitty has claimed my lap as her place when I’m resting in bed. This afternoon I knitted a bit while I waited for my ankle to calm down. It doesn’t seem to enjoy showers as much as it should. The good thing is the water feels less bizarre on my leg and foot. I still don’t like looking at the incision sites and bruising but that’s normal, right?.
Now it is time to finish off the pumpkin pie and rest. I’m not quite sure how the holiday thing will go tomorrow but I am very thankful for so many things.
From my place in bed I can see some of our maple tree. The branch closest to the window moves a lot in the wind. It can be hypnotic. I’ve lost myself in the dancing golden leaves several times since the accident. Today that branch is bare. In fact I’m guessing the entire tree has shed it’s last leaves in preparation for winter. I am not so ready.
I knitted earlier today and imagined all the amazing things I’d commit to paper. Unfortunately the day is coming to a close for me and I’ve lost the urge to touch pen to paper.
Things are painful – physical and emotional. Or maybe they are just tiring me.
Yesterday I started to move my healing ankle. This doesn’t sound like much, does it? I don’t think I ever imagined how this entire healing process was going to unfold. I just kind of lost myself in the “take it a day at a time”. In the beginning that was necessary. The trauma of the accident plus my injuries made looking to the future painful. It still is to be honest but I’m trying to start.
Last Friday, my Doc said I need to get my ankle moving. The demonstration made my stomach roll. Movement in my own foot and ankle made me sick – it felt foreign and impossible. He said I had to do it so next visit I can get the okay to start putting weight on my left leg. Then comes physical therapy and walking. Normal life will be possible. I’ll be able to walk downstairs instead of going step by step on my posterior. You see the small things excite me these days.
In the afternoon my mother suggested I try some moving. I started with my toes. “Wiggle your big toe.” That scene in “Kill Bill” has taken on new meaning for me. I’ve been working on the toe wiggles for awhile but I used it as a warm up. Then I managed to bend my ankle using muscles, tendons and joints that haven’t been active in more than five weeks. Let’s just say I managed to wake a few beasts up.
I haven’t really been comfortable since that time yesterday afternoon. My meds make it bearable while I lie in bed with my whining ankle elevated and iced. Sleep was far from restful. Unsurprisingly, work today was far from a success. Not even three hours passed before I had admit I needed a break. I came home and elevated the beastly ankle.
I’m trying really hard to look at this discomfort as a personal success. I did this. I am paving the way back to myself. The more I work now, the easier my next appointment will be. (A friend warned me of how uncomfortable it is to have the doctor do the moving.) Sure today sucked big time but I’ve been telling my ankle all day “You think yesterday was hard?! You haven’t seen anything yet sweetie!” And guess who flexed and wiggled this afternoon?
For my AEDM today I can report just a couple of rows knitted. My dad helped me measure the scarf today. I am thrilled to report 32 inches long!
Progress can be slow, sometimes a literal pain but measurable achievements make it all worth it!
I find myself waking to get ready for bed again. It’s amazing how exhausted I get. Today I worked for just shy of 3.5 hours. I’m still adjusting to this boot. It’s heavy and less secure than my last cast. I miss my cast. I was just getting used to it and mastering the art of getting around with it. Now I have to start all over again, learning what my ankle’s limits are in this velcro’d beast.
I knit a few rows of my scarf today. I also scribbled a bit in my composition notebook with my ultra fine Sharpies.
Now I go back to sleep in hopes of making it through most of the night without incident. Oh how I miss solid restful nights of dreamful sleep.
Another blur of a day with a little bit of knitting mixed in. I hope the worst is past and I’ll be back to a more normal level soon. I took my first shower without a cast today. It was a bit freaky but a very important step. I’m hoping I can do at least a few hours at work tomorrow. Wish me luck.
I failed to reach my goal of 5 hours of work. I managed 4 hours and felt like I contributed. But disappointment threatens to overcome the accomplishment. I did better than last week and stayed the same length of time as yesterday. Somehow that is nearly not good enough despite my discomfort and exhaustion. Could I have pushed harder?
This afternoon I tried to tuck my ankle into the background and focus on the movies my Mum and I watched. I struggled and picked up my knitting. I can’t trust myself to knit or purl without looking, so it was slow going and I had to unknit a couple rows.
I took the photo of Toby (above) while he snuggled and purred. My cats have been very good nurses since the accident. Iggy Pup has also helped me find comfort during the last month mostly spent in bed. I snapped the below photo when he was trying to get comfortable. Apparently my blankets are better than his.
AEDM is helping me to spot creative opportunities. I have a couple ideas bubbling away that I hope I have the energy to start sooner rather than later. I’ll keep you posted.
It’s hard to describe how my ankle feels. Pins-and-needles when your appendages fall asleep is pretty accurate. Sometimes it feels like a whole swarm of bees is buzzing around in there, almost like it’s alive with electricity. I’ve been told that visualizing healing is beneficial. The swarms of bees put on nurse hats and picked up knitting needles to mend my breaks and repair the dislocation damage. Today I drew just that.
I’ve been working on my knit scarf. Knit a row, purl a row. It’s slow going because I’m not very graceful but I am making progress. I love this yarn! It’s Red Heart Super Saver. I think the color is called Primary but I’ve lost the band. I love working the rows and watching the colors transition.
I might do something else artsy before bed but there’s so much other stuff that needs to get done. Most of it involves paperwork – blarf. I shouldn’t complain as it’s been a pleasant weekend. I hope yours was a good one!